Lost-In-Translation: how to understand what your man is trying to tell you

Guys are complicated but once you understand those creatures you'll see them like confused dogs...seriously coz they are...they think about when they can get fresh meat and get laid : p jk

So lets say you guys are dating and he says: So maybe we could get together or something?
He means: I think you're really hot and want to ask you out, but I'm too chicken to say so

He says: Nothing about seeing you again
He means: His mojo wasn't rising

He says: You're a really good person
He means: You'll never see him again

He says: Let's be friends
He means: You're not my type, but could you set me up with your hot friend?

He says: I'll call you
He means: I really mean to call but I'm scared you'll say yes, we'll go out and it will be a letdown. Or worse, what if it's not? Do I want to go through all the hassle of dating? Get married? Have kids? Aaahhhh!

He says: We're dating
He means: We've spent at least five nights together, at least one of which has ended in sexual contact. But in no way are we exclusive

He says: We're seeing each other
He means: It's down to you and one other woman

He says: I think we should date exclusively
He means: I'm scared that if I don't make things more permanent, you'll date someone else...selfish bastard! If you play around I'll do the same why date you exclusively?!!?


What He Says When He Wants Sex

He says: This is our third date, isn't it?
Is it warm out or just me?
What time do you go to work in the morning?
You think it's true what they say about oysters?
He means: I WANT SEX!!!! NOW!! Get in the back seat!

He says (in the middle of a great orgasm): I love you
He means: I love that incredible thing you are doing with your finger/tongue/body right now

He says (immediately after making love): It'll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future) or is this the best orgasm you had?
He means: Are you thinking about your ex and how much better he was than me?

He says: We haven't spoken for ages and I've been thinking about you
He means: I haven't gotten laid in almost three months

He says: I'm not looking to get serious
He means: I just want a little nookie

He says: How many guys have you been with?
He means: I'm the best, right? Never tell him how many guys you slept with coz this freak will look down on you and think your a slut even if you only slept with one guy! why? Because he thinks you're lying and that you slept with more...

What He Says When He's Serious

He says: I really like you
He means: I think I am falling in love but if I say that word, there is no going back

He says (in the middle of a date): It'll be great to show you the house I grew up in (or anything else that smacks of the future)
He means: See Above

He says: "Girlfriend"
He means: You've made him breakfast, he fixed your car and his buddies aren't allowed to come on to you

He says: Nothing's wrong. I'm fine
He means: God, I know you want to talk about my day and all my interrelationships with my colleagues and boss, but I am at home now and I just want to drink 10 beers, eat a large pizza and a bag of chips for dinner and zone out

He says: Maybe we need to slow down
He means: Maybe 'you' need to slow down

He says: I don't know what I want
He means: I don't want you...just dump him right away...coz you're just a brand new sex toy he wants to play with...

He says: I need some space
He means: I'm about this close to dumping you but I haven't worked up the nerve yet...dump him...see how he'll run after you and if he didn't then he ain't worth it...don't waste your time with this loser...

He says: You're an amazing woman
He means: You're an amazing woman

He says: I love you
He means: You make me incredibly happy whenever we are together. I think you may be "The One".

Top Lies He'll Tell You

Be wary, if he says any of the following to you:

But I tried to call ...Sorry baby I couldn't call you all day coz I had a meeting and then my dad was with me all night! *So did you fuck yer dad hard enough?*
I didn't get the message
I didn't notice what she looked like
Sex isn't the most important thing
I'll be careful
We'll talk about it later
I'm not mad
I could fall in love with you in a minute (wait a minute and ask him how he feels now)

You know your man really loves you if he:

Lets you drive his car (especially his new SUV)
Assumes you're spending the weekend together
Introduces you to his friends
Stops wearing his "If you're not wasted, the day is" T-shirt, because he knows you hate it
Calls for absolutely no reason
Wants to talk after sex < best moment>